Reinvention is an adventure. It is the pursuit of challenging yourself to do better, be better and treating every experience as an opportunity to grow while making a difference for others.
My reinvention journey has always been inspired by the stories of others who have found redemption, hope and their true selves in the face of adversity.
One such story is an extraordinary book called: The Choice: a True Story of Hope by Edith Eger, Holocost survivor, public speaker and best selling author.
Edith was a teenager in 1944 when she and her family were sent to Auschwitz during the Second World War. Despite overwhelming odds, she survived the Holocaust and moved with her husband to the United States. Having worked in a factory whilst raising her young family, she went on to complete her Phd and become an eminent psychologist. She has since worked with thousands of people from Vietnam vets to teenagers suffering from Anorexia.
In her book she makes a statement: “Suffering is universal, but victimhood is optional.” Such a simple yet potent distinction. We all know that suffering is a part of life. And right now there is much suffering with the global spread of Covid19. Victimhood, on the other hand, is not just about suffering. It is a mindset, a filter through which we interpret our experience and make our life choices. At its heart, victimhood is a well-worn story of how things get done to us and we are powerless, or feel powerless, to do anything about it.
Re-word Your Life
So how do you guard against stepping into the role of victimhood, especially when faced with important choices in tough times? I propose that as challenging as it may feel at times, there is a simple remedy. Focus on your words. Not just any words. But the words that form part of the phrases that make up the stories you sell to yourself. Check your vocabulary and carefully re-word phrases that undermine your sense of energy and optimism about your future success.
You see, words are not just words. Words are a source of energy. Words like challenge, love, passion and inspiration give us energy while others like hard, impossible and never, sap our energy.
So let’s look at examples of language that does not serve us.
HAVE TO versus WANT TO
“I have to study this course”, “I have to complete this job”, “I have to see this client”. When you use the words “I have to” you are taking on the role of a victim. It implies you don’t have a say and it negatively affects your perception of the situation.
Re-word: “I get to study this course”, “I want to complete this job”, “I have the opportunity to see this client”. These phrases reflect a sense of choice, ownership and optimism.
TRY versus WILL
“I’m trying to lose weight, “I tried to call you”, “I have tried many times”. The word try is dangerous because it preempts failure. It gives you permission to fail and deflects accountability.
Re-word: “I will lose weight”, “I will call again”, “I will find a way”. These words are concrete and imply commitment.
CAN’T versus DON’T
“I can’t write”, “I can’t exercise”, “I can’t leave my job”. The word can’t is a restriction. It undermines your sense of power.
Re-word: “I don’t want to write at the moment”, “I don’t want to exercise”, “I don’t want to leave my job”, . Don’t is a choice and it opens up the possibility that you can do these things if you want to.
BUT versus AND
“I want to start my own business but I do not have the funding”, “I would love to compete in a triathlon but I am too unfit”. With one word, but, these aspirations are undermined.
Re-word: “I want to start my own business and I do not have the funding yet, “I would love to compete in a triathlon and I am unfit at the moment.” You just substitute one simple word and it could change the rest of your life.
The words we think, speak and believe have the power to open or close doors. Our words affect our self-perception and impact our future. So, tomorrow morning as you take on a new day, pay attention to your internal chatter, find new life-giving words that will make up the sentences of the stories that will fire up your reinvention adventure.
Call to action: set up a 1-2-1 Discover Call to call about your reinvention journey.
